In chaos I create my own order. I am what I am and nothing else. I vow I will live by own truth, my own ideas, and my own way, and I will live on. I hail myself and my kingdom is my own. Amen. That’s what it says on my hexagram.
You can call me Aleph on this site, that’s the name I like to go by here.
The meaning of the name Aleph
It is borrowed from the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, and the name of the protagonist of Shin Megami Tensei II. The “Lord of Chaos” part of my moniker is by and large a “for the lulz” alias.
The meaning of the blog name
The name was inspired by the Jakyou Manor, or Cathedral of Shdaows, from the Shin Megami Tensei games. In the games, this is where you can go to fuse your demons into a single demon and (in some games) access the Demonic Compendium, a catalog of all the demons you have ever summoned, fused, and registered where you can also summon said demons (at the cost of an variable amount of Macca, the in-game currency). Also, in Japan, the word Jakyou means “heretical”, pertaining in this case to a forbidden doctrine or magickal craft, which in the games refers to demon fusion.
It’s also relevant to the fact that I’m a Satanist and Luciferian, and I walk the Left Hand Path. In our world this would mark me as, you could say, a heterodox thinker, a non-conformist, a black sheep – a heretic. Not just that, but probably among the highest order of heretics, non-conformists, and freethinkers. My outlook is not only ultimately at odds with the outlook of the three monotheistic faiths (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam) and other mainstream religions (even ones I kind of like, such as Hinduism and Buddhism), but it’s also at odds with the trendy but fickle political outlook of the masses, the modern current of atheism mixed with hard materialism that has inexorably descended into dogmatism, and what I perceive to be the current direction of the human species and the general patterns and tendencies that I think it’s based on, and I find myself as a person uninterested in, and often opposed to, the trends, interests, and common behaviors of the majority of people. Thus, I stand largely alone, with relatively few friends and few circles I can relate to. I’m also convinced I’m not only a rebel to the outside world, but sometimes feel like I’m different to other Satanists, Luciferians, and other metalheads for various reasons. In the end, I’m only a heretic because I’m me, and only in the world in which I and the rest of the human species live and share life.
Anyways, about me
I live in the United Kingdom, though I’d prefer to be in America, Japan, or some place warm instead. I was born in the UK, but I spent a significant part of my childhood in Massachussetts in the USA, and since then I have often thought myself as American, rather than British, which I’m sure must sound silly to some people. I like to talk/write about religion, mythology, the occult, society, current events, my self, and other things, including video games, anime, films, and music, and all these subjects usually fall under my personal interests. I really like heavy metal music, though I sometimes have other interests in terms of music (you probably don’t get to see it often though). I want to make artwork, write stories, make music, design video games, and fulfill my being/personality on this earth before my time comes.
I have an alter ego character who is basically my self and my idea of what I see myself as or what I want to be projected as a fictional character designed largely with video games and anime/manga in mind. This character goes on adventures, sometimes finds treasure, fights “bad guys”, protects the balance of his world from tipping, and generally lives it up. He fights monsters, deities, demons, and humans who act as enemies, and often they’re enemies because they’ve gone off the deep end so to speak and want to disrupt the balance for its own sake, hold power over others for its own sake (and/or take their souls), take over the world, destroy the world, replace the world with a new one made in their image, or generally threaten freedom in the world. To that end he’ll collaborate with human, deity, and demon alike, and he’ll fight human, deity, and demon alike, all in the name of freedom and protecting the world as it is. He fights with swords and other weapons, as well as supernatural powers such as fire and others. See more here.
I am an individualist. I believe in liberty, justice, and the freedom to pursue life in any way you want to, and have a moral oppositon to authoritarianism, totalitarianism, collectivism, and just about anything that is undermining freedom. See here, or here. This would put me in the libertarian camp, and I find libertarianism in line with and a part of my own instincts and runs well with my own development. In fact, in terms of the political compass I am a right-wing libertarian. I have a great respect for classical liberalism. In both cases it means I believe in both social and economic freedom (valuing both social freedom and free markets). I don’t believe in surrendering what life, youth, and energy you have when you “grow up” just to become part of the herd or appease traditional constructs (like marriage for one; though I don’t really mind it if the love between two individuals is ultimately what leads to it, I would prefer alternatives to traditional marriage),and I think that your youthful spirit doesn’t need to mean ignorance, naivety, and slavery to the past. I also believe people who oppress and harm others should get what they deserve, be it by our own hands or otherwise. While I tend to have specific moral ideals, standards, and expectations, I also ultimately embrace human nature for what it is: self-oriented. Consequently, I believe in a marriage of moral ideals and egoism, and I think giving due credit to the power of rational self-interest and trying to reflect the way the human species actually works might do the world good. We’re not purely callous monsters at heart, but we’re not purely angels in the conventional sense either, and I’d prefer we respect that. Even though I respect the need for social order in order for freedom to ultimately exist, since it can’t exist in a state of lawlessness, I still hold hope for a world where we can live in freedom as individuals without the need for any laws or social contracts, but it will take time, time for the masses at large to cultivate an understanding and a love for liberty that they currently do not have.
As far as religious identity, I’m Luciferian, which I consider to be a worthy expansion of Satanism. Basically I am a Satanist, but now I may go by the Luciferian label because of how I see Luciferianism. Techincally, this means I am actually a Luciferian Satanist. I believe in the God within (or rather each individual is a God unto him/herself), the power that is within us, the inner flame, and my own world. My goal is to become stronger, live as I desire, and, when I die, enter the paradise of my design and imagination. I am a Satanist because it supports self-empowerment and individualism, to the point of self-deification, and puts the self, the carnal ego, at the center, and I wish to work with a dark and primordial force. I’m a Luciferian because I want both light and darkness, harmony and wilderness (thereby embracing balance), and embrace the things enrich my self as a learning process, because I see it as another way of looking at my own Satanism (see “The next level of Satanism“), and because I share an important common goal with Luciferianism: a world of freedom for all human beings, in spite of the world in which we live.
I don’t believe in a governor of the universe, or a God in the external sense, but I am also open about the existence of spirits, monsters, demons, and gods, even as symbolic or archetypal. In a sense, this makes me a soft polytheist, though as a Satanist/Luciferian I am an autotheist meaning the self is the only true God. When I say the self is God, I don’t really mean “God” in that omnipotent being in the sky sense; I mean it as the primary agent of the life of the individual, the only thing capable of shaping your reality, the only thing that can save you. You’re the creator, not someone in the sky. You are the immortal soul destined to meet its own paradise if you believe to yourself be, while conversely you are just a meaningless mass of flesh if you believe yourself to be. You’re in charge of your own life and no one else, and you have to own that and take responsibility. I don’t deny Nature, and I don’t feel humans are ultimately separate from the natural world, being natural beings, but then that’s largely because nothing is ultimately unnatural, and because I feel the soul, consciousness, or the I is ultimately what makes human beings stand out in the natural world, and even then, I would argue that it’s not necessarily unnatural. As both a Satanist and a Luciferian, I think of the Self as ultimately the primary agent in the life of the individual, but I do have a feeling that there is also a life force involved, a source of power at the core of the Self. Currently, as a Luciferian, I call this the Black Flame.
- To gain personal spiritual power for myself, do to with it as I will
- To spiritually create and/or partake of my own world from my own individually discerned principles and ideal
- To ignite the inner flame and know it
- To never lose or surrender my self
- To empowering the self to spiritual heights
- Spiritual immortality
- To free myself from mundanity or dullness
- To take in the pleasures of the world on both a material and spiritual level
- To rise above the forces of entropy and doom
- To shine a light and participate in the creation of a world of freedom, both for myself and for others
(There used to be a Personal Manifesto page here, but I decided About Me and Personal Manifesto were almost the same page, and so they can be merged so to speak).