Yesterday was a very special day. My sister was getting married, we attended service, and we had a long party. I think I learned a lot as well, and I think it’s worth reflecting on the subject of marriage as it relates to me personally.
As it stands, I have no real plan for what I want to do if I arrive at the point of commitment so to speak (perhaps because I’m nowhere near that point yet, I still don’t even have a girlfriend as it stands), but if I arrive at that point I think I may consider what my oldest brother is planning to do and have some kind of private ceremony. In his case it’s more of a secular and simplistic thing – just a ceremony and celebration at his place and then a holiday – but with me it might be a bit, shall we say, ritualistic, depending on how I get to do things. See, a lot of the problem I have is that marriage is traditionally a ceremony attached to faith, even with things like civil partnerships and secular ceremonies today, these are basically there to fill in for what marriage represents to religious people. In the case of Christianity, for example, marriage intended to be a ceremony fit for a community of faith in which the bride and groom are ultimately a part (provided they be Christian anyway), and the groom and the bride are ceremonial microcosms for Jesus Christ and his Church.
As you no doubt know from my writings, I tend to predominantly disagree with Christian doctrine, I do not agree with the Christian faith and as such cannot and do not identify with it, so obviously having a Christian marriage ceremony would indeed be a problem for me should I arrive at that moment. I also don’t feel so strongly about secular civic ceremonies either. It’s not out of hatred for secularism I assure you, it is simply that I desire more in terms of meaning and substance. I’m very cautious about having big ceremonies like other weddings I’ve been to. Not simply because of the expense involved but because it would be a wedding on my own terms: – logically, I fear, it would mean showing my hand by revealing my spiritual-philosophical inclinations and all that entails, which would make me uncomfortable. Sure my family are by and large a liberal bunch in terms of attitude, but they’re also Christians in background – they might not be as devout as Americans are, in fact they tend to be quite liberal in their faith and have a tolerant attitude most of the time, but I’m not gonna delude myself into thinking they’ll put up with a ceremony consecrated by the Morning Star instead of Christ and his Church without thinking I had fallen into mental illness or something.
Not to mention the extravagance and expense of the conventional ceremony, along with the sillier and stupider activities you can do. Hence, the idea of a private ceremony between myself and my potential partner in lieu of something grand like some of my relatives do.
For what it’s worth, though, I’m genuinely for the ceremony I had attended in spite of such things.