I feel it necessary to write a short post concerning my standing in life with regards to my academic life and what I am to do going forward. After all, I am living my final term of university and I have over two months left before I graduate. I think this is enough of an important point in my life for me to say something about it.
I have pretty much a day left before I hand in my assignment for my major project, so I am almost done with it. After that, I will probably be helping out with the end of year show that is being held within two weeks, and in between the date of the show and the day of my graduation in July I am expected to talk to some external assessors (or at least I think that’s the case anyway) to talk about what I submitted, so I we’re not done in that time yet but we can use that time how we see fit besides the talks. I also plan to use as much of that time as possible on finding a part-time job, work experience or pave the way for an actual career so that when I leave university I can move out of my current residence and build up a stable life of my own in a new setting.
I honestly don’t have a good grasp as to what I want to do after I leave. You would think that I’d be dead set on getting into the video games industry as soon as I leave, but that is not how I think of myself. Instead I see myself in a state of cynicism towards the video games industry, with its decadent emphasis on commercialism and its present trajectory towards stagnation, and as having been embittered by my experiences working as a game design student. So I almost want to shed myself of the destiny that I had made for myself by going down the road that I took back in September of 2014. That’s not to say I don’t ever want to go into the industry or don’t see myself as having potential; to take that stance despite what I have learned from my lecturers who’ve supported my efforts would be an exercise in ungrateful ressentiment. But at the same time, I feel like there’s other things I want to do. Not to mention I think getting a stable income in for myself will be very important for me materially and in terms of making for myself an independent, self-managed life, and allow me to possibly open up more socially within a new setting where it’s practical for me to just get out and do things without feeling tethered to the limits of living area as has been the case with my current location. On the one hand, I think I can still do something within the video games industry, on the other, I wish to break out of a path that began from obvious naivete and devolved into me making unfulfilling choices in the name of personal advancement all while getting the sense that I have never achieved what I really wanted to achieve. That’s why part of me kind of feels like “fuck the games industry, I want to find some people and just jam with them every Saturday night or whatever just for fun”.
As far as the blog, things might still be slow for the forseeable future, although I do have some ideas for posts I would like to write in future. As I implied earlier I want to minimize politics here, although I am and have been learning new things about political philosophy since my conversion. I might talk philosophy though, but want to keep politics at a minimum because I feel like I should write about something else. I also want to start doing Mythological Spotlights again in the future because it has been almost a year since the lengthy Mythological Spotlights I wrote for Satan and Lucifer. Haram Month is probably not going to return this year because the last one was really sparse and I outright expect to be too busy sorting my life out to commit to it. However, I do fear that I’m losing a lot of motivation to write for the blog, and as such I predict that I may announce a hiatus for it after some posts. It’s been over five years since I’ve been writing for it, so I suppose something like this was bound to happen eventually.
Sorry I haven’t written anything in such a long time, but hey I did I was going to be on a pretty slow blog writing period going forward. I hope I didn’t make you think I was dead or going to die soon with that last post regarding the possibility of World War 3 breaking out.
And to cap off this post, I wish a late Happy May Day, Happy Walpurgisnacht, and Happy Beltane to all my readers.