Begin, 2016

We have reached the end of the previous annual cycle, and the beginning of the new one. 2015 is over, and 2016 is upon us. For me today is the last day of the winter holidays, and of the great winter mass leading up to the new year.

I’m not sure what to expect of this coming year, I don’t know how my life is going to go here. All’s I know for certain is that, in three days, I return to university and will likely face the outcome of my time during the first half of second year (and my course). I’ll be at a crucial point in my life as a student, and I don’t know where things will go from there. The only other thin I’m certain of is that America will be very busy with an election, no doubt I’ll probably be writing about that if I feel like it (which I probably will).

There is a third thing of which I am certain though. 2015 was good in some respects, and I did learn things in the last year, but I feel disappointed that I didn’t make the best of it, or at least as much as I had hoped to, and by the end of the year I have this weird and horrible sensation that I might not be very good at anything in particular. And this holiday season I feel like I had accomplished only a fraction of my plans for the holidays, and I neglected to schedule this sort of thing like I planned. I kind of wish I was with someone who could reliably assure me otherwise, or at least I wish I could only feel bad about what I’ve done with my life less frequently and just not care.

Honestly, I don’t have any New Year’s resolutions, because I already personally resolve to accomplish the same things that I always do: increase my strength, find the one, find fulfillment, and to live authentically and have the chance to go full-tilt in this life. Generally to change my situation for the better as well. And really, that’s all I hope for in this coming year – a great and profound change, whether I bring it on or not. But then, that’s the same thing I hoped for last year.

In spite of this, I feel equally worried about losing my spirit, and any sense of positivity and any love of life, in all this uncertainty. If that happened, I don’t think it would matter what I did or if I was any good at it because life would become hollow. That spirit, I still have to remain in sight of it, maybe even go closer to it than ever before. For now, as I wrote earlier, there’s still one more day of the great winter mass, then it’s the weekend before I can go to university. I should at least make that count before all else.

Happy New Year to all of you. May hope and success reward your actions in the coming your, and may you be set free from doubts and confusion in your road of life.

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One response to “Begin, 2016

  1. Happy New Year Aleph! Re “losing your spirit”, remember that things do go in phases, and sometimes times of disillusion are needed for rebirths. You can’t finally lose your spirit. They can also be the times when your intention has the greatest effect, as there is less rational belief and expectation to get in the way. One doesn’t need to have enormous highs and lows, but some modulation or oscillation is inevitable. If you make a spiritual intension deeply and truly enough, it doesn’t go away, no matter how long it takes

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