There’s an idea, or a mentality, that I have encountered that I find problematic. One that might be exemplified in quotes such as these:
“Never blame anyone in your life.
Good people give you happiness.
Bad people give you experience.
Worst people give you a lesson and
best people give you memories.”
Basically it’s New Age script, the same kind that says “just wait and things will happen at the perfect time”. I think the problem is that it potentially justifies people doing horrible things or generally being assholes to you on the basis that the universe is somehow trying to teach you a lesson. You may gain experience or learn a lesson or two, but that’s not to say somehow this was all meant to happen. Not only that, but it seems to me like it’s accidentally asserting that everything is ultimately your fault, which is at best a flawed assertion that can’t be taken seriously.
Another version of this is the idea that the idea that the negativity of other people is the negativity within us manifested somehow, and that our attitude affects the things that happen to us, which I just can’t take seriously. Almost all the negativity we feel is in reaction to the world, not because of our attitude towards it. If you saw people acting hostile or petty towards you for no good reason, let alone the majority of mankind, you’d react negatively towards the world too, wouldn’t you? And when something negative happens to you, it’s not necessarily your fault.
To be fair, it’s probably purely a motivational thing, meant to get you to get away from negative energy and conquer it. But on the other hand, it feels like the message is that you have to take responsibility for all circumstances, even the ones that aren’t your fault. Perhaps I’m being disingenuous, perhaps I’m missing something, but come on; a lot of the negativity we encounter is due to people generally mistreating other people without regard for how they feel about it or for how negative they make them feel. You can’t let yourself be a victim of it, but you can’t blame people for feeling victimized by it either. And one thing we sometimes have to accept is that, although the self is the primary agent of responsibility in our lives, there are some things that happen entirely outside our control or sphere of influence or just generally have nothing to do with us. I understand that we have to distance ourselves from negativity and negative people, and not let negativity devour us, which is sound advice, but we can’t just be positive all the time.
We are just as capable of feeling negative as we are of feeling positive, and perhaps there is no way to fully appreciate positive without negative, but at the same time we can’t only think positively and you can’t tolerate people creating negative energy for others when they don’t deserve it. If you want to feel negative, feel negative, just as long you don’t choke yourself with negative energy.