After I had finished the first of my presentations yesterday, I got into conversation with one of my fellow students, and she raised an interesting point about confidence. She told me that it feels harder to do a presentation when you’re on your own or you’re in a small group, but it’s easier when you’re in a large group. And I remembered that what I desire is not to be stronger by being in a group, but from my own internal strength. From that point on I realized another aspect of the scope of my quest. My goal is to reach a new level of inner strength, a strength I do not know if I have yet.
I want to achieve the kind of strength where I don’t have to take comfort in the group any more, and I am interested in the means of attaining that strength. Since my vested interest is towards mental, emotional, and spiritual strength, I’m interested in the means of attaining that strength. As a Left Hand Path practitioner I’m very open towards magical means among other means. However I can achieve the strength I’m looking for, without going off the wagon so to speak, would be very welcome. Then, I can be stronger on my own, and celebrate the way of the hero.