We were at the hairdressers for a regular appointment, and usual chat ensued. I mentioned to my hairdresser (who also happens to be a relative of mine, cousin specifically) that my dad was planning on having me and my brother help him out at his partner’s bar on New Year’s Eve. It’s about an hour away from where I live and I really don’t feel like going all that on New Year’s Eve, but even though I could just say no, I feared it might be difficult to tell him no. Meanwhile, my brother has much less difficulty personally.
The hairdresser commented that my brother is perhaps more carefree, while I might just be more emotional. I thought about that and I think she’s right. He certainly seems to feel less guilt about things in a kind of carefree manner, and worries seem to enter my mind more than him. Granted I’m not much of a crier, but I a lot of my worldview seems to be more emotional and spiritual than my brother’s (which he prides on being more rational). I like to think I’m a kind of intense person, and this trait got noticed when I was doing my Foundation art course between 2012 and last year. I don’t know if my brother is the same.
I like to think the elements me and my brother identify ourselves with is sort of an indicator (though my brother’s not a mystic). My brother tells me his favorite elemental forces (not necessarily conforming with the tradition of the four elements) are ice, lightning, and wind, along with shadow, while I seem to identify with fire, water, and the sun a lot (also probably earth in some shades). To me fire and water are emotional forces with fire being particularly passionate and water being very introspective, while ice and air seem more carefree and rational, with lightning being the more energetic force (we’re both energetic). I don’t see my brother as particularly introspective.
Now, I know I can be confident deep down and I know I don’t get over-emotional about every single thing, but I can’t help but feel like I feel more likely to take on an emotional connection towards some particular things than my brother would be, and I generally feel more like I could use a little security at times, and I don’t know if my brother is the same way.