An embarrassment of virtues

Today, while preparing for a show, I was bringing some work over from the first few months, and I  thought I wanted to hide it because I was worried about the impact and ignorant, immature fools not being able to deal with it.

An older friend of mine found out I was putting it away, evidently she had a good opinion of it, and eventually made me realise that all I was doing was hiding, when I should be expressing myself openly and honestly. I felt humiliated, the thought that I was hiding was an embarrassment to my personal virtues, for which I will ask my brother to strike me hard on the back for later as a kind of penance. After that, I decided to display the work.

It also made me think that I’m really not as good at dealing with people outside the internet as i sometimes like to believe, and I had (and perhaps still have) a great lack of faith in people in the real world at large (not everyone, just most people). Perhaps because then I’ve been dealing with them in too shadowy a manner, if at all. But if I really believed in arming myself and my will, why hide?

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