Reflecting on my past since discovering the Shin Megami Tensei series of video games (when I was 15 or 16), I cannot help but look back and think I might have in some way been a Satanist without even realizing it, knowing about Satanism, or even taking an interest in Satanism.
The reason I say this is because, for as long as I can remember, I have been against the idea of handing myself over to same higher power, or being one with some global consciousness, or the idea of an external force telling me what to do and ruling the world. I never liked the idea that my desires should be oppressed or extinguished. I was an individualist as soon as I learned about the philosophy and understood it was right for me, or more or less accepted it as truth.
But remember, when I was about 15 or 16 I didn’t have much awareness of many of the ideas that I do now, and my understanding of what I believe or am interested in wasn’t as refined as it is now.