I haven’t changed

Yesterday I looked back at a “personal passport” I made in the induction period of last year’s art course in college, in which I put mostly stuff about myself and drew stuff I liked. When I did, I found out that I had pretty much not changed for the entire year.

The piece contained trademarks of my own aesthetic and personal tastes, inspirations, and what I considered myself to be. I drew some stuff about video games, Hinduism, Buddhism, devils, and other stuff I like and thought of, and it doesn’t seem that any of this has changed. And the final outcome of last year’s course (which I made this summer), was not only a continuation of that, but a much better, much deeper, and in a way more spiritual and mystical expression, and on a larger, grander scale (which led to one or two personal awakenings).

To my recollection, only a few things have changed. I am much better at expressing what I like and thing, I’m more knowledgeable about what I like (naturally), find the same tastes and personality in new place, and, since June I think, I’m not only not cautious about Satanism, let alone in artwork, but I also actively identify with Satanism now (though do not subscribe fully to any Satanic organizations). I also pay more attention mysticism than before, though that’s very recent.

Nonetheless, I’m glad that I haven’t really changed, for it’s a sign that my way of thinking and doing is working, as it should, and it’s a sign that, so far, I was right about how I would remain true myself in the long run. But that doesn’t mean I can let my guard down, not ever.


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