I’m thinking lately that the order versus “chaos” conflict I tend to envision is mainly a social one, a battle of ideals and systems.
Order here translates to the ideals of prudishness, self-denial, self-sacrifice, order, control, authoritarian thought, collectivist thought, fate, subjugation of desire, self, and will, imposed state peace or world peace, conformity, herd mentality, harmony with the world, and an ideology (or ideologies) or system that values these ideals (or orderly systems). While Chaos here translates to Freedom, personal power (or power), sexual liberty, individualism, individuality, freedom of desire and will, self-empowerment, selfhood and freedom of the self, a free life and free spirit, free will, following ones own desires, being oneself (and truthfully), and ideologies and systems that value this (or chaotic systems). This obviously takes a cue from the Shin Megami Tensei series of games, which have been a great inspiration to me for three years.
So what of the Chaos I so venerate? Well countless times I mention that it is a kind of energy, a primal, raw power or force that lies at the core of everything and . I hear it’s similar to the concept of Shakti found in Hindu thought, which is defined as the primordial power and creative energy of the universe (though often believed to be a feminine divine force). Or, the Chaos I venerate comes from the freedom side of the social order versus liberty/free will scale.
In an earlier post, a friend of mine told me of how the world around us is essentially random but also that we can use those raw materials to create a personal world in keeping with individually discerned principles, and how it is important to create your own order within your own sphere or be swept at the mercy of the tides. Well, a few days later, another contact of mine, a good friend actually, gave me some nice thinking food. Say I was seeking to overthrow a fascist system, or that matter the current system, what would replace it? This is perhaps a common question faced by rebels, and if it isn’t, it should be, because it encourages the development of one’s own way of thinking. Anyways, he said that if I were to overthrow the aforementioned system, what would I replace it with? The answer would invariably be something I advocate instead, a system of my own will, or made via my own will. Even if that system were a Chaotic one, or one founded on freedom, I would still be creating some kind of system or, dare I say, “order”, and exerting my will upon the wider world. The only alternative would be complete isolation, or to replace the evil system with nothing thus allowing others to institute theirs, or to let oneself sink into the tides I mentioned earlier.
From all this I’m drawing up the possibility that I’m just trying to create my own system, or even “order”, based on my own individually discerned values, principles, beliefs, etc. I still hold on to the idea of Chaos as a raw power, or energy that motivates, creates, and runs through the universe, as well as the idea that Chaos also means that there is no governing order, which thereby allows the freedom to create ones own world, system, ideology, personality, whereas in a cosmic governing order, this is not possible as conformity to said order would be required. Actually, thinking about it, Chaos might also be the condition in which, while there is no cosmic order governing the universe, one can create his own personal structure. Perhaps this might lead credence to the saying “ordo ab chao”, or “out of chaos, comes order”, except it’s less order, and more structure, the difference being that order, in my books, refers to the principle opposite to the Chaos I mentioned, while structure is structure, that you have created.
From that realization, I can draw that, my overall or basic beliefs, philosophy, and ideology remain unchanged, but I feel this reflection, this realization, will serve me well. And I see nothing wrong with the idea of creating my own structure, and I don’t see how it contradicts my own philosophy.