A link to the past?

DISCLAIMER: This post has absolutely nothing to do with The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.

In looking back to my childhood, I remember some things that I’m not sure is truly me. As a kid I sheltered myself from violence and mature content, blind to the notion that most of the games I played involved fighting something, destroying something, and putting down bad guys, or at least I was blind to the gravity of that notion. I even used to believe in Jesus for a while when I was a kid, ’till I stopped fearing God. Yep, whatever involvement with Christianity I head was based on being scared into it by Hell, and the story Jesus’ crucifixion.

And they show this in primary school, just to promote their stupid religion.

The fear of guns, violence, swearing, sex, and the dark and mature, for all I know, was imposed upon me, either directly or indirectly. It was an artificial fear, a conditioning used to control me. Based on that, you could say my outlook stems from a desire for blood, revenge against the childhood conditioning.

Nowadays, I accept and embrace mature content, as long as it doesn’t gross me out, and advocate the freedom of its expression, and I have ever since teen years. I swear, I think about sex and lustful thoughts, I embrace hedonism, I like guns, swords, and weapons, I listen to heavy metal, and I don’t believe Christianity. What’s more, I hate Christianity now. I had pretty much broken free of the conditioning imposed upon me. And yet the things I accept now, along with the philosophy I hold, kind of makes sense.

When I was a kid I was obsessed with three things; video games, animals (that includes dinosaurs), and the jungle. These things do hold sway in my thought. The top 2 video game franchises I followed were Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog, and the latter has used rock music since Sonic Adventure. In Sonic Adventure 2 and Sonic Heroes, Sonic’s rock music, and Shadow’s industrial (sort of) music would later contribute to my musical tastes, including hard rock, heavy metal, and industrial music.

Thanks Sonic.

And of course, playing video games, I pick up fighting bad guys, and enhance that with ideas of justice that I later pick up, albiet most of it is eye for an eye. Animals and the jungle have also had some influence, naturally. My worldview is often animalistic, which actually meets up with and mingles with my video game inspired tendencies. In my previous post about eclecticism, I used the jungle to refer to primal chaos, and that we are creatures of the jungle, thus creatures of chaos. Thinking about it, dinosaurs also work as symbols of primal chaos, in the same vein as dragons and serpents. All three are reptiles aren’t they, most of them large ones to boot?

If you associate the jungle with volcanoes, like I sometimes do, the lava and eruption of volcanoes makes me think of a rage of power, a wild side, a fire. It makes it easier for me to accept things that I would later accept and see as relatable to me, or part of me. And even during the conditioned state, I can be pretty wild, and assertive. It’s only later that I learned to fight the conditioning and see it as not a part of me.


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